Michelle's pain is quite persistent, and (the rare times she has taken it) the pain medication seems to be causing some undesirable side effects. What is taking so long??? My sweet friend has days where she feels so awful and "toxic" that she describes feeling like she has turpentine coursing through her veins. I can't even imagine...
Thank you to all who supported the garage sale. We are hoping to have another pub night this summer, will post details when confirmed.
Praying for you always chickadee!
Tracey
Friday, May 29, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
A Shout Out
Our new feature song is in honor of T's kids. You are all sweet to be thinking about Tater Tot's Mama : )
Tracey
Tracey
An Itch That Can't Be Scratched
Just popping in to give everyone an update. Michelle had one really great day this week, but things have gone downhill since. She is plagued with terrible pain that her specialist suspects is related to inadequate blood flow to the spleen. Not good. She is trying to manage the pain and nausea at home. Michelle took one of her pain pills today so that she could take little man to the local fair. A side effect of the pain med is itching, and oddly enough she often gets an itchy nose. She wiggled and rubbed her nose to try to find some relief, and always felt moments away from vomiting. I have stayed home for far less, she is such a trooper. She really did have a great time at the fair though. Little Man loved the rides!
Some members of our committee are throwing a garage sale fundraiser this weekend in Vancouver. There will be hot dogs for sale, and Michelle may make an appearance! Anyone who would like more info, please contact me at way-to-live@hotmail.com
Tracey
Some members of our committee are throwing a garage sale fundraiser this weekend in Vancouver. There will be hot dogs for sale, and Michelle may make an appearance! Anyone who would like more info, please contact me at way-to-live@hotmail.com
Tracey
Thursday, May 14, 2009
The Good And The...Not So Good
Michelle is very blessed to have her dear friend Lady R from California visiting for the next week. In less than 24 hours she received a professional adjustment and a massage! How great is that!
Unfortunately Michelle had a rough night last night. Her pain was so bad she ended up taking a pain pill, something she tries her hardest to avoid. The pill took the edge off the pain, but lead to increased itching : (. So the poor woman got very little sleep last night.
Wishing you an excellent visit with Lady R, and some peaceful sleep tonight.
Tracey
Unfortunately Michelle had a rough night last night. Her pain was so bad she ended up taking a pain pill, something she tries her hardest to avoid. The pill took the edge off the pain, but lead to increased itching : (. So the poor woman got very little sleep last night.
Wishing you an excellent visit with Lady R, and some peaceful sleep tonight.
Tracey
Monday, May 11, 2009
An Open Letter
Dearest Michelle,
I know you heart aches often with the loss of your father. Please believe that you gave so much to him in his final days and always. You may feel in hindsight that you could have offered him more in terms of helping him deal with his transition from health to peace, but in reality you were in the role of daughter, and all he really needed at that time was love and presence. Your love was as unconditional as ever for you father. Just as spring brings new growth, and fall brings new color and dancing leaves, you father will always be with you.
The word amazing can never be used too often in your honor. You bring light, laughter, and a feeling of acceptance to those around you. I know of no others who have brought complete strangers to tears and full disclosure, or with a simple letter have had thieves make a full return of stolen goods. I encourage you to continue dancing with others. You have brought an amazing little boy into this world who is going to do great things with his life. You have a strong circle of family and friends who cherish you. Please be assured that any wounds will be shallow and heal quickly.
Also know that if this makes no sense it’s because I’m supervising a 2yr old out of the corner of my eye : P
Love
Tracey
I know you heart aches often with the loss of your father. Please believe that you gave so much to him in his final days and always. You may feel in hindsight that you could have offered him more in terms of helping him deal with his transition from health to peace, but in reality you were in the role of daughter, and all he really needed at that time was love and presence. Your love was as unconditional as ever for you father. Just as spring brings new growth, and fall brings new color and dancing leaves, you father will always be with you.
The word amazing can never be used too often in your honor. You bring light, laughter, and a feeling of acceptance to those around you. I know of no others who have brought complete strangers to tears and full disclosure, or with a simple letter have had thieves make a full return of stolen goods. I encourage you to continue dancing with others. You have brought an amazing little boy into this world who is going to do great things with his life. You have a strong circle of family and friends who cherish you. Please be assured that any wounds will be shallow and heal quickly.
Also know that if this makes no sense it’s because I’m supervising a 2yr old out of the corner of my eye : P
Love
Tracey
Written A Few Days Ago...
I lost my biological father to brain cancer on January 14th, 2007. January 14th just happens to be Miss M’s birthday. I have looked at his picture for a long time tonight. I just needed to see his face, remember his soft skin covered in a layer of fine fur. He was a snugly bear and I often nuzzled in to his big broad arms. I miss his comfort and his life.
My dad was a writer, an artist, a carpenter, a great thinker and wonderful confidante. I didn’t really know him until I was 21. Our strongest bond was friendship. Our minds, made of the same blood were of kindred spirit. But, he called me Kidlet. At the core of everything, I was his baby girl.
We often met downtown to enjoy the change in seasons or catch a movie together if it was raining. We always talked for hours. He wanted to make the world a more honest place. He championed the underdog and made them realize they could actually conquer themselves and the world. He could never do this for himself. He was an unpredictable rogue who often misbehaved I miss him every day.
He was sick for 1 year before passing away. During that time I became his manager of sorts and helped him keep his life together as he literally lost his mind. I was pregnant at the time. He wanted me to help him deal with the diagnosis of “terminal” because I had once been faced with the same life sentence. I couldn’t help him or “go there” while there was new life growing inside of me. I couldn’t really get down to the emotions and feel them with him. I was there for him on a practical level and spent many days and hours with him but I never really let him confess his fear, the pain and outrage, the injustice and frustration. I am so sorry. I know now how much I could have helped.
I have been dancing with illness for 13 years now. Sometimes I flit across the floor and sometimes my feet are swollen out of my shoes. Being and overcoming being sick has pushed me to make the rest of my life mean something to me. I have made choices along the way that strengthen my bond to people and this earth. Where I once danced alone I now have a husband and my baby boy. I have the most amazing friends, a career I truly love and am proud of and a piece of land with a vegetable garden! All my dreams have come true. I just hope that my choices will not cost the ones I love too much. When I let myself, I wonder, “Was it selfish to dance with others when it would have hurt less to dance alone?”
I am frustrated by the squeeze of illness on my abilities. I want to be free and strong. I am fearful tonight. There are so many blind corners ahead of me. I am a passenger in a speeding car without a driver. The blind faith that has led my life so far is the only thing I can cling to now. It is more of a refusal to participate in the undesirable than true courage.
I pray for brightness and life to surround my loved ones. I pray we take the corners with ease and that the road becomes less treacherous. I pray that I never stop dancing. I pray for healing of wounds my illness has caused. May my love continue to be felt.
Michelle
My dad was a writer, an artist, a carpenter, a great thinker and wonderful confidante. I didn’t really know him until I was 21. Our strongest bond was friendship. Our minds, made of the same blood were of kindred spirit. But, he called me Kidlet. At the core of everything, I was his baby girl.
We often met downtown to enjoy the change in seasons or catch a movie together if it was raining. We always talked for hours. He wanted to make the world a more honest place. He championed the underdog and made them realize they could actually conquer themselves and the world. He could never do this for himself. He was an unpredictable rogue who often misbehaved I miss him every day.
He was sick for 1 year before passing away. During that time I became his manager of sorts and helped him keep his life together as he literally lost his mind. I was pregnant at the time. He wanted me to help him deal with the diagnosis of “terminal” because I had once been faced with the same life sentence. I couldn’t help him or “go there” while there was new life growing inside of me. I couldn’t really get down to the emotions and feel them with him. I was there for him on a practical level and spent many days and hours with him but I never really let him confess his fear, the pain and outrage, the injustice and frustration. I am so sorry. I know now how much I could have helped.
I have been dancing with illness for 13 years now. Sometimes I flit across the floor and sometimes my feet are swollen out of my shoes. Being and overcoming being sick has pushed me to make the rest of my life mean something to me. I have made choices along the way that strengthen my bond to people and this earth. Where I once danced alone I now have a husband and my baby boy. I have the most amazing friends, a career I truly love and am proud of and a piece of land with a vegetable garden! All my dreams have come true. I just hope that my choices will not cost the ones I love too much. When I let myself, I wonder, “Was it selfish to dance with others when it would have hurt less to dance alone?”
I am frustrated by the squeeze of illness on my abilities. I want to be free and strong. I am fearful tonight. There are so many blind corners ahead of me. I am a passenger in a speeding car without a driver. The blind faith that has led my life so far is the only thing I can cling to now. It is more of a refusal to participate in the undesirable than true courage.
I pray for brightness and life to surround my loved ones. I pray we take the corners with ease and that the road becomes less treacherous. I pray that I never stop dancing. I pray for healing of wounds my illness has caused. May my love continue to be felt.
Michelle
Sunday, May 3, 2009
And The Results Are In....
Miss M. has been approved as a live-donor for Michelle!!! What does this mean? Well, if Michelle doesn't get a whole liver by a specific date, then they will go ahead with the live-donor surgery. This surgery is not booked yet, but they are aiming for the end of august/early september. This is great, because it is an opportunity for the Ways to see a light at the end of this tunnel.
Michelle is having a string of rough days again: nausea, pain, lethargy. Yet through it all she still manages to be the most amazing mother. I am in awe of all she does, and how she carries herself. She may not have a lot of energy, but she uses what she has so efficiently.
In planning our last pub night, I had a conversation with the project manager of the Organ Donation and Transplant Association of Canada. She informed me that a huge number of organ donations are lost because people do not tell their loved ones what their wishes are. Registering as a donor varies depending on where you live.
For more information in Canada, please check out: www.organdonations.ca
And in the United States, please check out:
http://organdonor.gov/about.htm (not sure if there is a better site for US, if you know, please post in comments).
Good night!
Tracey
Michelle is having a string of rough days again: nausea, pain, lethargy. Yet through it all she still manages to be the most amazing mother. I am in awe of all she does, and how she carries herself. She may not have a lot of energy, but she uses what she has so efficiently.
In planning our last pub night, I had a conversation with the project manager of the Organ Donation and Transplant Association of Canada. She informed me that a huge number of organ donations are lost because people do not tell their loved ones what their wishes are. Registering as a donor varies depending on where you live.
For more information in Canada, please check out: www.organdonations.ca
And in the United States, please check out:
http://organdonor.gov/about.htm (not sure if there is a better site for US, if you know, please post in comments).
Good night!
Tracey
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