Waiting for a liver transplant has affected every area of my life. But one of my favourite impacts has been the time I have been able to spend with my grandparents on my dad's side. My Granny is 93 and Gramps is 83 or there abouts. For a number of reasons, I never got to know them as a child. I moved to Canada at the age of 20 and began the slow process of getting to know my father`s side of the family. I wanted to matter as much as the other grandchildren who had been bounced on the knee, combed their dollies hair and collected shells on the beach in front of their house. But, you cannot recreate these bond forming memories as an adult so I have felt like an outsider. Slowly over the last 13 years the relationships have grown but progress always hampered by life’s many commitments.
My grandparents have been married over 50 years and are still on their honeymoon. Their secret as far as I can tell is that they always admire and put each other up on a pedestal. They have a lot of reasons to love each other which makes it easier I guess!
Gramps admires Granny's strength. For example, a few months ago Granny fell and broke her hip and leg in 4 places. She went to the hospital, waited a few days for surgery, had surgery and got up and walked the within days. She was out of the hospital within a month and now doesn't even use a walker. Not long before this Granny lost her thumb on a cruise when a metal door slammed shut on it one stormy night at sea. She held the thumb back on and waited the several days it took to reach land and receive proper medical attention. By then it was too late to save the thumb. Granny often remembers her thumb fondly and thanks it for all it's contributions to her life but she didn’t miss a beat. She went to physiotherapy and got full function back at the age of 92. 1 year or so prior to that Granny fractured 3 vertebrae in her back reeling in a large fish. She waited to get back home and get x-rays and treatment. Once again she made a full recovery.
After the fishing accident my Grandfather decided it was time to move out their 3 story house in Sechelt. He thought it was best to get Granny off those slippery stairs. This is how they came to live in a condo near our home.
During Granny's most recent injury to her hip, she was hospitalized for several weeks. I really wanted to be there with her. I know how boring hospitals can be! During my first visit I overcame my self-consciousness quickly. Soon I was seated beside her bed with Gramps standing watch over us. At 93 she is still beautiful. We spoke quietly for awhile. People passed in and out of the room. I felt surrounded by kindred spirit. The pace was slow, the air quiet and yet there was a quiet and determined drive for recovery and intention of strength.
In the visits that followed I combed my grandmother’s hair and placed her Hawaiian flower clip just so. I encouraged her through sips of soup and we made fun of the food. She was enjoying the effects of the pain relievers and amused herself and us with a series of one-liners and her opinions on life. In the months that have followed I have made repeated visits out to my Grandparent's place. We sit there in the quiet and speak when we can, eat when we can and nurture each other through pain, illness and gratitude. We celebrate the successes big and small and enjoy the beans of energy we are afforded each day. Sometimes our plans are foiled when one of us is too sick to visit. Most recently I was honoured to decorate my grandmother’s tree. I hung snowflakes that were over 100 years old crocheted by my great grandmother. My Granny spends her life creating, painting and crafting; there were many handmade treasures stamped with her signature, a lady bug.
My Grandparents are the strongest people I have ever met. I know the strength that flows through them was passed to my dad and courses through my brother and me. It feeds my spirit every day. It is the breath of resolve and endurance that proves any circumstance is possible and all outcomes are affected by determination of spirit. I am so grateful to have found friendship with my grandparents and to have been given the opportunity to make up for lost time. Thanks for the visits, the cooking lessons, the this'n'that's, the questions, having most of the answers, listening, caring and being there. I love you both so very much. Here's to many more visits and successful sausage gravy feasts!
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