Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Wow! Now that I've come back to life I see that there's a lot to this living business! How did I fit it all in before? There's so many people to love and relish and so much laundry and cleaning and driving and working and cooking to do! I take my hat off to all of you who do it so beautifully. I have suddenly found myself facing all these tasks with delight and surprise. It is a wonderful discovery to find myself a mother, homemaker, employee, friend and daughter, niece and cousin and all the titles I hold so dear. I didn't realize how small my life had become- how narrow my focus. I am forgetting my tired and scarred self to rediscover the new life that is pumping through me.
I can hold my son. I can ride my bike. I can wear high heels. I can eat first, second and thirds. I can sleep on my stomach and dance with joy. I can cook for my family and get to wipe up the floor when something spills. I'm going to work in a cubicle again. I'm going to earn a paycheck 2 weeks from August 4th. I'm ALIVE! Time is allowing the memories to fade.
My docs have described my test results and gorgeous and beautiful. My body is absorbing this gift of life with delight and exuberance. I am treating it with reverence- as my dearest friend. Thank you dear Meghan. I pray for continued grace and good fortune for us both. My soul was restored to witness your strength and vitality. I pray that our bodies continue to mend as the impact of this trauma fades to allow the beautiful vision of our futures. I cannot wait to behold the next chapter on your wedding day.
To all of you who have held me in your hearts and prayers. I will always know that it was the strength of your intentions and the sincerity of your prayers and hearts that kept me here, that has allowed me to pass through this immense ordeal without having succumbed to it. Every day is an answered prayer. Thank you.